To say this post represents a bit of a reboot of this blog is an understatement. I could come up with a bunch of bullshit excuses for not writing here, but I’m gonna be honest. It was the summer, I discovered the Zen of cycling, which I spent many hours doing, and I was kind of rediscovering my path. But what good is a blog if you don’t post to it, right? So I’m bound and determined to do better.
Rediscovering my path. I swear Pagans spend more time thinking about their spirituality than evangelicals. The difference (in this context) is that the evangelicals have a narrow, defined, path that is defined by a written text. Pagans have a wide ranging array of choices, mostly defined by what we think we know about ancient times.
But this summer, I got honest with myself. I am not a Scott Cunningham Wiccan. I am not all sunshine & light. I have that aspect as a part of my psyche, but it is not completely me. I’m not the person who is going to spend lots of time on rituals. I seem to be more of a philosopher, perhaps a mystic, than ritualistic practitioner. So Wicca, a path for which I have a great deal of affection, is no longer my destiny.
I am delighted to say that I’ve actually connected with a deity. This has eluded me, well, basically my entire life. But I did a lot of thinking about who I am, what kind of life I’ve led, and while doing so, what god did I encounter repeatedly? Dionysus. He is the perfect god for me. If I were magically transported into the pages of Greek mythology, my role would be that of a satyr. Their depictions as of lovers of wine & drink, women, and any sexual or physical pleasure, along with a carefree nature mirrors my own. The difference being that in real life, I suffer great bouts of anxiety over having lived such a life. Dionysus was also a god representing rebirth. I can embrace that with all my heart, because I’m fairly certain that my lifestyle has chopped years off my existence here on earth in this incarnation.
This, dear readers, is not to say I’ve led a life of sloth and debauchery. Rather, I’ve dipped into the waters of a wide array of sensuous delights with relatively few partners. I worked from the age of 16, but have not been a very responsible money person. If I had a dollar, I spent it. Luckily, my wife excels at that aspect of life.
I’m a left hand path kind of guy. I’m a leader of my own path, not a follower of others’ paths. I have dipped into the waters of Luciferianism, because I see that path as one of enlightenment and knowledge, rather than evil. The Left Hand Paths get a bad reputation not because of the true disciples of the path. Rather, they are harmed by those who use those paths as an excuse for criminal, hateful, or harmful behaviors. The person painting an inverted pentagram on the side of a building isn’t a Pagan or Satanist, they are a criminal.
Dionysus does not represent hatred or criminality. He embodies the joys of life, even if their excesses may be harmful to the follower.